The Breakup

I’m tired of the emptiness… There’s no love here.

I’m tired of the good ideas with no follow through.

I’m tired of the procrastination.  No, we can’t start on Monday.

I’m tired of the inconsistency.  One day you’re good, the next day you’re not.

I’m tired of the clutter…  Everywhere!

I’m tired of the confusion…  Who am I?

I’m tired of feeling trapped…  It’s like I’m on a hamster wheel.

I’m tired of feeling like I can’t be myself.

I’m tired of scrolling and pinning to escape my reality.

I’m tired of feeling like ‘where do I even start?’

I’m tired of being so strong, yet falling apart all at the same time.

I’m tired of being sick…  physically… emotionally… sp‒

OKAY!!!

I’m done letting another day go by with what I did not do.

I’m done putting myself last.

I’m done hating myself.

I’m done telling myself if I wouldn’t done _________ then  _________ would’ve happened.

IT DIDN’T.

I’m done constantly ruminating over what could have been.

Over... and over and over and over and over and over…

I’m tired of being the victim to anxiety, depression, circumstances.

I’m done sitting on the couch, eating my feelings, watching Netflix, avoiding the parts of myself that I need to face.

I’m done making decisions out of fear.

I’m done being financially irresponsible.

I’m done searching for love, where it does not exist.

SO,

I’ve decided that a change must be made.

I’ve decided to stop telling myself that I’ll never have _________.

I’ve decided to take full responsibility for my faults.

I’ve decided to forgive myself for what I did not know then.

I’ve decided to let go of the past.

I’ve decided to take care of myself.

I’ve decided that true love comes from within.

I’ve decided that I have to get comfortable with being alone.

I’ve decided that in order for me to live my life to its fullest potential

I’ve got to break up

...with myself.

-Courtney

In